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08:38 p.m. Sunday, September 21, 2008

Recently I've developed an allergic reaction to watermelon, cantaloupe, bananas, apples, soy milk. Only the first two are really severe enough to cause extreme discomfort, but it's so, burrito supremely irritating because I've enjoyed these foods for a long time and now all of a sudden I can't. It is a bit of a relief to find out I was allergic to watermelon, though, instead of discovering that my throat somehow became so malformed and serrated that every bit of melon mesh fiber was catching on every crevice and fighting each inch down. HURRAYS. In other news, I don't rmb if I had to make html tags every time I wanted line breaks? Who knows. I'll find out in 5 secs. I make a lot of plans and then forget or break them. This makes me feel: Alas, alack

12:59 a.m. Sunday, January 28, 2007

oh my god I just spent the entire day in illustrator trying to make a poster for my emac class my eyes hurt and I'm still not sure what 90% of illustrator does!!

01:55 p.m. Friday, January 5, 2007

Venus & Braves music, a lot tho not complete. V&B is a new videogame coming out, dunno really much about it. (got link through wenlet again) I haven't gone thru much of it yet, just the first couple tracks, but it reminds me of FFTactics. FFT is a bit more battlecry and warfighting haha, these are more lighthearted and fun, but most of all it makes me think, "oldschool rpg," tho that term might not be entirely accurate o_O well it brings to my mind the games before 3d rendering, & had 2d pixel characters and environments instead, like Suikoden, the Breath of Fire games, or Grandia, where the storyline was simple, you're this one guy saving the entire world, but everything is tongue in cheek and silly. You get immersed in its fantasy. in short, I feel happy listening to this kind of music, maybe because it's tied to my childhood more than anything else.

06:45 p.m. Friday, December 15, 2006

my god, I'm done I'm done with finals!!!!! Now I just gotta pack, find someone to take me to the greyhound station, pick up my paintings, AND THEN I CAN COME HOME AND EAT AND sleep and read all day!!!! I've started House of Leaves, and found a book that lists ways you can die (Final Exit??), and ahhh!!!! then fig summer internship, fill out competitive schols, work some more on drawing, blablabla. Jolly awesome!!!

09:56 p.m. Thursday, December 7, 2006

YAY@@!!!!! We're finally friends with our third roommate. no more awkwardness!!!!! no more crying!!!! no more bruises!!! NO MORE LYING!!! christmas mashups. !!! I like the halloween better, but some of these are pretty kickin too. wenlet has some classical mp3s to dl, while pimping a drama? called Nodame Cantabile. There's 4, a Chopin (yes!!!!), Mozart, Schubert, and a Rachmaninoff. haha sounds like precious gems. Actually I think the drama sounds kind of interesting, since it focuses on pianists and their beefs on their techniques with each other..hhaha. Man it's so windy here. The apartment complex is gonna topple over. Emily and I have two modes. We're either giggling or bitching at each other! Thankfully we always talk and make up afterwards. It's funny cos we're so alike in many respects, but we always have something trivial to scratch about. I stepped on 5 people today. I was massaging them with my feet. I popped lots of spines. All of them came away redfaced and filled with endorphins. ahahahha. I started with Celine, (who loves dressing in vintage and period clothing and is SO DRY HER HUMOR she's so funny and smart) because she has some issues with her ex-bf, is all sad and she likes being touched so I offered to touch her with my feet. It was scary stepping on her cos she is so skinny so I felt like I was stepping on a fish, I felt so many tiny little bones shifting around liquidly in her back, aghh!!! and I finally come to terms with how my voice actually sounds to the outside world...I never used to believe those tape recorders and telephone messages... Finals are upon me, I don't feel much panic, um...well actually I'm a bit embarassed about one of my projs (for sculpture, cos I dint get it done by the due date, but it's sorta ok cos I'm gonna show it next week)...ah I am jealous of lots of people. gonna get my hair cut again soon, (just to trim off the mullety bits) when it is long enough perhaps I'll wave it a bit!! otherwise I've been toying around with a reverse mohawk idea, maybe I'll just draw it instead. Or two slices of bald cutting thru the bottom back of my head. ohh snapps I forgot to work on painting today!!! tomorrow...tomorrow for sure. No computer. AT ALL.

11:31 p.m. Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I....want....Okami. I want Okami!!!! drooling!!! I am!! *spies on ebay to buy wanda* and this game for xbox 360, called Assassin's Creed, I watched the demo for it and it looked so crazy and fun, ahaha! pushing the people and them having diff reactions and them actually reacting to you SCALING a building and dying with one hit like in reality, oh scary realism. Otherwise, painting is good now, I finally turned into less of an idiot and FINALLY FIGURED OUT NOT TO use white to LIGHTEN!!!! UGH!!!! and use the obvious warm and cool colors to....WARM AND COOL. for the LONGEST time my colors were all milky with jizz and I was like...why, why, why!! so oh, finally it's nice and I'm happy with this advancement and I will, practice with tiny pieces of objs. Because my painting I class ends this semester and they don't automatically put us in painting II for the next semester. (which I don't think I'll take like...ever because the skill in there is total worlds away from where I am now) hum...wella, Color Theory class is coming up this next semester, that should help more with my color idiocy. I can't wait for next semester. CAN'T WAIT!!! Umm...WHAT ELSE!! umm....there are chinese language lessons on thursdays, the guy teaching it is in my Orientation Group, he's nice and I shall go now. There is also Korean language, I wanna go to that too, cos there are hella loads of Koreans here and I want to become a spy and infiltrate la. also there is S. Korea available for study abroad and that may come in handy. (altho first I gotta see which department the S. Korea trip is affiliated with SO IT PERTAINS TO MY STUDY) (and before that I gotta fig outs the moneys) Uhh...well...ok for sculpture class, we had to do a "phonebook project," which means randomly (or not) going thru the phonebook & picking a person/place we've never gone to before and chatting them up & then documenting it. So this girl goes to Hooters, explains how they "cast" women with certain breast size, if any of their butt hangs off the chair when they sit, etc., and she also brought along a pamphlet for the Hooters credit card & its rewards program and THE POINT OF THE SLANT IS TO NOTE how much I would like a credit card with some nice nice rewards programs right now. of course it'd take forever to build up to the amt I want. but oh la!! some of the incentives I'm drooling over. Like the amazon one with the instant back, and I could in theory apply this to Okami and only pay for it. ah yey. A while back I went to a Guerilla Girls lecture. Emily had gone onto the site beforehand and said it dint intro anything newer than what was on the site, so...yeah basically the lecture was an intro to how women are getting gypped in the art world (just you know in addition to everything else) and I don't have much to say besides that it pointed out some things I didn't notice before (like the percentage of male artists in museums, and the % of women nudes) and how there are so MANY STEREOTYPES of women, like "girl next door," "the bitch," "the diva," "white trash," but it also brings to mind issues that were brought up before in Crit Inquiry, where someone said, "If women were in charge, then...!" and someoneB interjected, "It can't be any worse!" and I thought to myself, "It can't be any better either!" I'm not arguing against women being in charge, just that there isn't some inherent sense of superiority in any gender. I mean I know about those studies that are like, women tend to be more intuitive...men tend to be more aggressive. But right, those are generalities, and not every woman is like that, and I believe women can make war as well as any other man. I just hate this sense of, "Well if ONLY WOMEN WERE IN CHARGE, THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE!" because that goes way too far past seeking equality into [opp. of misogyny] It's too much anger propelling THAT sentiment, rather than rational thought. It's good to have a healthy self esteem but we're not born into preset hierarchies. I don't understand separatist lesbians who avoid all men and hetero women. Then the crit theory book is like...everyone's experiences are different, like the black exp is diff from the white exp and a het exp is diff from gay exp and so on. So then I wonder if I'm not "getting it" (separatist lesbians, among others) because I just don't get how they feel. (Although inside I feel this is silly in a way, because doesn't an objective lens count for anything? OR MAYBE I HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED by this heterosexist mindset that society has ingrained into me. Ughhh I think that's silly too, although I can see it, I understand why I may be so adverse to it, but ughhh, I just feel like I have nothing stable to stand on anymore) and my teacher, we had read "Everyday Use" about a black family, and at one point my teacher said "I can't really say anything - no one in this room with a white face can say anything about how these black characters feel, because we haven't had this slavery past in our personal/family histories" and I just feel like, WHAT? I feel like that's going too far in trying to apologize for the past. Being politically correct! Handling with kid gloves! In that way they're STILL not being treated with equality, it's more like they're a delicate species that should be looked upon with sympathy and pity. Like, NOW I realize there's still this undercurrent of rascism that's influencing modern day society. The reason why many Chinese are rascist against blacks, because --> immigrants tend to live in ghetto areas --> ghetto areas tend to consist of blacks --> because education rate for blacks is low, so they don't have background for good jobs --> because just because schools were desegregated, doesn't mean that right then rascism dissapated, and that teachers didn't talk down to black kids or not call on them as much and so on. and helped to generate this cultural trend of black kids not caring about school. Man I feel all paranoid about not using (modifiers??? well words like "MOST black kids" or "black kids TEND TO") Because I remember getting all angry about forced diversity in colleges, like a college would choose a black applicant that didn't do as well as a white applicant to match up the quota of black/minority students in its population. Reward skill right? But not everyone got the same opportunity. and they need some helping along now. to try to reverse the tide. choppy sentences. dramatic. you like. ?. I wanted to talk about other things too but I don't remember now. Well tonight we attended a "Becoming Queer" lecture, of a woman's experiences on realizing she was lesbian, and then coming out, and her mother's process in coming out. She mentioned how she (the speaker) felt stifled in this FAMILY UNIT enforced by this patriarchal society. I thought about how we say things like "...But he's your father!/other close relation" and how we tend to love your family no matter what, with no other justification other than they're your family. so I just never thought about what other familial structures there might be. so here's a video, about shoes, betch! it's this weird funny music video where a lot of the characters are played by the same man, it's pretty amazing, if my suspicions about this one woman (being played by the man) is true. he doesn't even look jrock girly. I like workstudy. it is super easy. The only time when I want to cry sometimes is prying open the emulsion tub lids, it's so bloody HARD!!!! I MUST BECOME STRONGER. There's this asian kid with these fucking humongous guns, I asked him why and he said "I want to be stronger." I forgot to ask if there was an event in the past that spurred this on. He shared stories of how when he was 5 or 6 he slammed the door on his finger until he could see bone (cos he was like, 'wow this doesn't hurt!' and kept going) and how he thinks his grandfather is crazy because once he walked in on his gdad hanging a string from his DICK and playing with it. and his gmom was sitting undressed on the bed. When he told his mom, all she said was "Did he have an erection?" and how when he, big guns boy, was younger, he humped the housekeeper. WTFFFFFF) otherwise. pretty cool. Wow I sort of can NOT wait for Thanksgiving break. The times when my yearnings become most prominent is when I am suffering on Sunday trying to finish my painting homework for the next day. But now that that mountain is over with. I think I will be ok. Unless I am really, really retarded and want to kill myself and procrastinate and suicide. I just have to remember, KEEP AT IT, put your all into it because not only is this supposed to HELP YOU BUT IT COSTS 40 THOU. Dammit.

08:56 p.m. Friday, October 27, 2006

ROGUE ELEPHANTS that rape and kill rhinos. Elephants are so complex and intelligent.

11:48 p.m. Friday, October 20, 2006

Went rock climbing today. it was on a wall. thank GOD COS OTHERWISE I WOULD'VE DIED. Well, but then when people rock climb in real life they've got spotters and harnesses too. cept it would be hella death harder. I'm waiting for my arms to be humongously sore tomorrow cos I can feel a strain in my forearm even when I'm merely MIXING the oil paints with my palette knife. ahhh I was totally gripping for dear life. a lot of involved the staff members shouting advice at me like "Get your foot on that one rock...and STAND UP" which sounded easy but I had to get my balance spot on so I wouldn't fly off the wall. And 90% of it was just pulling and tugging and gripping and carrying yourself up. The wall was littered with fake rocks tagged with colored tape (cos they formed trails which you could pick according to difficulty) and a lot of times I had to cheat :( stepping on a rock not on my trail for help. OH by the bloody WAY this rock wall was located at Loyola College, and it has this HUGE fitness center, it's SO AMAZING!!!!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Like it has 2 basketball courts, and an olympic(?) sized pool, a hot tub, ROCK WALL, tennis courts upstairs, and whatever else, I wanted to explore and play!!!! ahhh!!!!! swimming most of all!!! and I asked about membership but it's only for students. humm.. I could just take a class at Loyola for it. haha. no I'll just wait for my apartment's pool season to open again. but seriously their fitness center was so big and beautiful. Just like the woman I love. It was more like a rock corner, not too big but we spent around 2 hrs there, there was just a bunch of ROCKS...well difficulty I mean, so you could just keep trying. and since I'm so weak I had to rest a whiles :P and watched other people. I should've brought my sketchbook. apparently not a lot of people go to rock climb. cept for the hard core rock climbers. But like...the staff members & the usuals were SO friendly, it was almost scary. Like for my last climb I was so tired by then (Girl: I'm so worn out. Boy: Oh believe me, it's all mental.) that I could barely pull myself up. I tried not to cheat so I'd hang on and look around and try to fig out where to put myself, and stretch to wherever my chosen color taped rock beckoned. All the way at the top was this last rock that I had to get to before I'd be done. I slipped and rolled around on the wall, and looked at my spotter (blade??? blaze/??!?! forget what they are called) all small below. I was like, "ok let me down now." and she was all NO you have to FINISH!!!!! and egging me on. and it was embarassing cos all these people were looking at me and shouting encouragement. and when I finally grabbed onto the last rock there was cheering and whistling. lols. and it's funny cos the wall staff/spotters are always nice and like "good job" and when you get back down they say "that was great," etc but I dunno if they did it cos we were inexperienced or they are always so encouraging. It felt a bit like I was at a summer camp and I was 10 years old and they were way older. I think I just have an outdated mindset though. Afterwards on the shuttle ride back to MICA people chattered excitedly and I smelled a sweet musky sweaty smell that reminded me of crew. It gave me a good feeling even tho I didn't have the bestest time there. I just liked that people were straining their bodies. Action. This weekend I have to finish one new painting (nocturnal scene) two wip (cardboard setup & nocturnal reflections) make a set up box, get 3 white geometrical objs paint a canvas the color of the set up box fig out how to make my slices of cake for sculpture. cos I want to make them look real but not use actual foodstuffs allot: 1. Sat for the two wips, start nocturnal painting 2. Sun for fin nocturnal painting 3. Sun night & mon for sculpture (and for its phonebook proj) then reading for crit inquiry, multi narrative for visual elements, and new stack of imgs for drawing. Then I want to READ!!!! Read Four and Twenty Blackbirds, uhhhhhh Atlas Shrugged...~_~ 400 pgs left...catch up on Naruto, Slam Dunk, catch up on Avatar...and...haha, draw. draw silly things on the computer and mess around with my wacom tablet. Man I can't wait for my emac, and illustration/graphic design class. I CAN'T BLOODY WAIT. er. and see if I'll have enough strength to fit in another class for next semester. take a history class maybe.

06:11 p.m. Sunday, October 15, 2006

yeah, I is home too and my room got cleaned up em empty like a giant stuck his head in and sucked all the stuffing out. I messed it up again quick tho lols. piling stuff out that I wanna bring back. My posters, my books, my comics my music, my new baby I just adopted. I can't wait to go back. oh I took the dog out for a walk today, more of a meandering cos he kept stoppin to sniff everything. Well, he stopped at a couple pile of shits and sniffed them and I let him cos I figured he was wanting to get the gossip up on the other neighborhood dogs. BUT THEN HE SLUPPED DOWN AND ATE ONE RIGHT UP!!!! WHATT@!@@@@ He yawns and stretches out a lot, probably doesn't get enough exercise. The thing I noticed about most was how much STUFF there is in this house. our apt can get messy but maybe it's cos we only have a couple rooms, but if it was flowing away like this I'd go crazy. yeah. I'm glad we don't have slob issues. tried to go out and buy winter clothes for myself, ended up buying a tank and a tshirt and some thick tights. Imma bring back the sewing machine to MY place, yea thass it my place, and go to the Village Thrift and get sweaters and the warm bits from there. also bought some thick yarn, I'm tired of messing about with the smaller ones. and will try to make a hat this time. The kind with the flaps. Or I'll just hurry it up and use the thicker yarns for finishing the (one) leg of legwarmer that I owe Lian...umm...yeah I could just go out and just BUY a pair instead. I'll hug it and squish it and put all my love into it and it'll almost be the same. ahaha, this is so weird for me, it's like so many new experiences. Like...I'm sure this isn't a big whoop for any of you...but being friends with potheads. I don't know. It's funny and strange to me. ahahha. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong. Like I should've gone to UD or something. At least I'm in an offcampus apartment complex instead of the Commons cos it can get stinky (pot smell) and smoky and rowdy I guess at night. Emily and I waited outside the Commons gatehouse (cos she forgot her ID and wasn't allowed in) for her friend Willam to come out with horror movies. we weren't even gonna watch it with him, hahaha. just wanted his movies. anyway this kid Alex comes out, I recognise from his slouch. C: Alex G--! Alex: *waves a little* *sees who it is* *waves more enthusiastically* what are you guys doing here? C: waiting for you, we've been waiting all night Emily: *says something and cracks up* A: *cracks up* ... why don't you guys come inside E: I forgot my ID A: *slowly and seriously like we're in a movie* well... you should come around back... and there will be these doors...you can come in there E: you're so high A: *cracks up* C: how can you tell???!? we walk around to the back. E: I can tell because he's acting so RETARDED. C: and he was talking slow? E: and he kept laughing at everything! When you're on pot you laugh immediately whenever anyone else starts laughing, it doesn't matter what they said and we entered the back of the commons where, although there is a camera, it is not watched very well. Would make me feel loads safe, that. ON HALLOWEEN....MY SCULPTURE CLASS IS TAKING A FIELD TRIP. ...TO A PRISON!!!!!! ahhahahah!!! We had to write down our names, birth dates and social security number so they could do background checks. Hugh: Yeah, I've had some kids go in there...and not come back out. So if you've commited a crime or something...DON'T GO

12:00 a.m. Tuesday, October 10, 2006

bride of monster mash buncha mashups, halloween themed !!!! haven't listened to them yet, hopefully super coolly HOME THIS FRI I'm going to be bringing so much stuff back here occhhhh can't wait, like Ico (found a guy who had a ps2.. well I suppose it's not that hard, I just wanna show Emily), SotC soundtrack, buncha books & comics and STUFF omg and I can't wait for home cookin!!!! AND DOG!!!!!! AND EM AND PEE....and the closeness of a great wonderful b&n, & grocery megastores, and freedom of car, familiarty, the quiet suburbs, OCH

08:03 p.m. Sunday, October 8, 2006

oh oh! while I'm still here slackin. There is an Anthropologie store here! I was p-paralyzed with happiness. Whoa, fall break is this friday! The weeks go by so fast, I'm happy and sad at the same time. umm...ok. hope to get some painting done tonight. maybe I'll even FINISH.

12:16 a.m. Tuesday, September 26, 2006

from boingboing: BioVisions at Harvard Univesity produced a neat animation of the processes taking place inside living cells. I like the little walker thing pulling along a big wobbling, rubbery bag of something or other. link hey so now that I'm here I don't really know what to say. haha I have no idea how people find the time to party. well....I....started oils, and I like the ultra smooth consistency when fresh and...bzzzz We have this third roomate who's a junior and she spends most of her time understandably with her frens, so a lot of the time she's outta the house and we're forever polite and uncomfortable around her and bzzzzzzz They shut down the katamari damacy site! I don't know why they'd do that, the site design was always freakin awesome. I really want to get one of their shirts now. either the ostrich or elephant one. yeah what we really need to do right now is go to Super fresh. I got one of their membership cards now, aren't I so grown up?! I can cook some nice fish via mom, cept I dunno if I'm doing it right cos the last (first time) I tried it it was bloody SWIMMING in oil which was totally and most eye visibly separated from the soy sauce used to decorate the skin of la fish and it was la la gross. bugh! and I forgot to time the fish and dunno if it was cooked all the way? I suppose it is if it's all white inside. and it tasted ok. Not like my mom's but ok. Emily has these international songs, esp spanish ones, and they all sound SEXY, but when I try to imagine if an American song tried to act that way, I dunno if I'd buy into it. I think it's sexy cos I don't know what they're saying. haha, how dumb is that. So now their voice is 100% blind deaf dumb instrument. Apparently Paris Hilton's song Stars are Blind is good. It's been such a long time since I've watched tv. I thought my painting teacher didn't like me cos I kept handing stuff in late for a while and she dint email me back for the longest time but then I discover for some reason her email box just isn't accepting my school email. blargh this was just a bunch of ralph. I kept laughing at Emily because the other night she dropped down to barf (I wasn't there) so as to not splatter all over the place, but I keep imagining it as her falling down from the force of blowing chunks and it cracks me up. Yeah, it's annoying her. lols. FINALLY GOT keys cut, Emily did it for me. now I can get into the door and get the mails all by maself! I wish I had some classes more than once a week. Or a class that went on for the entire year...like Critical Inquiry. I compare it to Ap glish, we get an "artifact" (short story/movie) and do some reading in a critical theory book and then get together a week later and present questions/artwork or critique the artwork or hand in a "long" paper (it's only 3 pgs :P), and we get into BIG ASS DEBATES AND long discourses about the stories or the theory reading, it's so fun and crazy and we've gone over feminism and Marxism a bit and whatever else. And suicide. Because the stories we read are so provocative, well yeah that's the point of it. But the 2.75 hrs we spend with him go by soooo FAST and I want the entire class to KEEP ON talking and talking. Our teacher is crazy lookin, he reminds me of Paul McCartney a bit with his face spread out more. And he has chin length hair. lols. From far away he could be mistaken for a crazy lookin lady. He says when he was younger his hair was even longer, ok that's better than him thinkin the long hair makes him hip and sleek. it's a throwback to the youthful glory days! I think some of my teachers are kind of SPACY or just soo totally lax like spurt out diarrhea lax...WASN'T THAT A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF IMAGERY?!?!??!?! ok, my sculptural forms class, some artist (forget) was brought up who didn't actually do his paintings/whatever else, he had a team of 40 people making them for him. People said, "So is he a real artist or not?!" and mild discussion was had. Then a kid asks "If I hire out my sculpture project to someone else, will you still accept it?" and teacher says "If you manage to find someone who'll do it, why yes." haha and I have another teacher that's super intense, she's so completely passionate and into what she's saying- but she's not like a screaming, giggling laughing type as she's going into her monologue- she's like deadly knife point assassin intense, AND SHE'S FUCKIN RIPPED! HAHAHAHA no really I admire her arms. It's pretty cool, cos she's mid-late forties and she's so full of vitality. Even her hair fits her, tho grey it's way curly and fizzy like a cloud, like THE TEACHER FROM MAGIC SCHOOL BUS ESCOLAR MAGICO. My sched is like this. I thought all art schools were like this? But no? Mon - Painting I 6 hrs (hour din din break) Tues- Sculptural Forms 6 hr Wed- FREEEEEEEEEEEEE cept I got workstudy, only, I hardly work at all and get paid full time it's so awesome! I work in silkscreening dept, smelly but cool, the stuff I do takes a little under/over an hour. refill chemicals, tidy up...sometimes I'd get scared cos I'd accidentally spill a corrosive chem on myself and my finger'd get all gross and slippery THEN REALLY DRY and ugh Thurs- Crit Inquiry (2.75 hr) & Elements of Visual Thinking (4 hr) Fri- Drawing I 6 hr I know this is stupid of me, sometimes I catch myself and have to remind myself that my family is PAYING for this education, it's not like reg school anymore. Because this one girl missed a class cos she was jetlagged from flying to Los Angeles over the weekend. WHOA. and I was all, how spontaneous and free and cool. I told another girl this, and she said, "That's so annoying. The people who don't pay for their own tuition, they don't take their classes seriously." ok, night.

11:05 p.m. Friday, September 15, 2006

New strain of Malaria broke out in a little village in Cambodia, which kills people in less than two days and then the parasite resurrects the person for up to two hours afterwards and makes the person act out in violent ways! UGH! Cambodian troops have it quarantined but considering the general state of Asia I wouldn't be so sure they've got it down pat. It sounds like it's straight from a horror movie. It's so weird!

12:37 a.m. Monday, September 11, 2006

CRAZY Japanese cute commerical with these two little girls in weird hats singing and dancing for some kinda noodle made with cod?! They're apparantly really big right now and have building sized posters and everything. lols.

12:03 am Monday, September 11, 2006

Whoa I totally procratinated these first two weeks of classes and I am dying. I also use a lot of hyperboles. I'm not even too stressed out or have needed to stay up all night, I'm mostly just annoyed with myself for letting the work pile up until the last moment. Then I don't spend enough time on my work and it doesn't match the level of effort other people have put into theirs. and that's embarassing. Download scanlations of Slam Dunk here, and Vagabond here. They're both by the same guy, duhr, forget his name right now, Slam Dunk is his first manga and obviously about baskbetall and Vagabond is a historial piece, and the art is like superbly awesome, anatomically correct and BUUIFUL and the story of SD at least is funny. (I haven't started Vagabond yet) College is cool.

06:50 p.m. Friday, August 25, 2006

I went out and bought a hot cereal from an organic foods store called Bear Mush and it tastes like the shop I just bought it from. Kids are supposed to love it. It doesn't taste like anything! This is why people get fat. People don't eat so they're not hungry. They eat cos it tastes good.

12:21 a.m. Friday, August 25, 2006

I'm here now and it's not so bad. hahahha everyone is really nice, and we had presentations boasting of the community that MICA fosters. like I haven't actually met many upperclassmen, but all the freshmen I've been with are coolly cool. I feel like most of my worries are unwarranted. My roomie and I are getting along fine. We ran up and down the hallway to find the garbage chute only to discover that it was right next to us. Our pool is REALLY nice. Our balcony is pretty big, and the view from the ninth floor is pretty awesome. We had to turn back like 5 times cos I kept forgetting things...

12:07 a.m. Sunday, August 20, 2006

About college...I'm so sad...I hate saying goodbye! I can hardly believe how long we've known each other, and we've all changed a lot. We've grown up a little more from the days when "hypocrisy" was such a big and wonderful grown up word, when it was cool to angst and write about blood...hahahahha!!! and write strange nonsensical fantasydriven stories and poetry and bad fanfiction. We've grown past cussing every other word cos we thought it made us sound tougher and more adult. We don't say "Sugar honey ice tea!" anymore. We don't have pretend playmates. hahahdjfk. omg. We've changed the way we dress, the people we liked, the people we look up to, the way we cut our hair, what we think is worth dropping money on, what we think is tasty, the way we hold ourselves. The way we walk! The way we wash our clothes! (ie, learning how to or cleaning that lint screen every time) We've changed so much together, and so many things have happened inbetween, and so much of our personality has been influenced by each other. It's hard for me to let go of familiar things, people I've gotten close to. Now most of us are starting all over. We're going through a new formative stage with no safety net this time, no family or friends to shift responsibility to or huddle with. Is this corny? I really like you all. Keep in touch, meet up on breaks, and have a gigantic rocking reunion at the end with our loverly spanking refined selves. See you at the end of four years! My brother came home today, and it feels like he never left. He's taller?? I don't know, he def slimmed down and is made of more muscle now, and his head has lost all its fatness, lols, and is more angular, and his hair is short, just a couple weeks' growth. It's only the first day, I don't really know how much he's changed from before. He brought home a black labrador named Colt, and he really loves him, "good dog good dog," excited about buying bowls and toys and snacks and food. He's softspoken, but I guess he's been like that for a while. He talks more though. He says the food he ate in Kansas was like cardboard and the place where he stayed, the town only had 250 residents, with only one grocery store, which he liked cos it was clean, and he that he had to get used to the smell of cow pie. He made friends with a Russian kid who said, "Black socks are masculine and every other color is feminine" cos thass how it is in Russia, and this other kid Anthony? who said he knew some chiropractic practices and tried kneading at my brother's back, only when nothing happened, said, "You're too fat!" and started jumping on his back instead. WTF?!?!??! HAHAHAH. "Don't worry, this is what they do in Japan." Yeah, with beautiful fairy girls. Not a big, muscley GUY. hahhaa my brother said he got out of PT (physical training, which is gym) and that Anthony had to do "hard PT" where he does more pushups/crunches whatever. hahahahah. Colt is really cute, and quiet, and lovely, and my brother says, "I know whenever he has to go to the bathroom because he'll look at me with tears in his eyes- " HAHAHAHAHHAH. oh my god, I hope everything works out, and that Colt will help my dad too, like encourage him to take more walks, and be more relaxed. Best wishes to everyone.

10:22 p.m. Sunday, August 6, 2006

I loved the MUCC CONCERT

08:39 p.m. Thursday, August 3, 2006

ahaha. Small Wired article on Dir en grey's welcome on its first US tour (opening for Marilyn Manson or something). I don't follow them anymore but I'm still happy for them. and kyo IS actually < 5ft.

02:44 p.m. Tuesday, July 25, 2006

hay world. Do you think we should go to art on Thurs??? ! Right now I'm reabsorbing into the internet and also going thru my MICA mail and rechecking bills and supplies I gotta gets and roommates and they provided addresses and phones but no emails and I don't..I don't want to call them. bahh!!! Someone's made a MICA comm for class of 2010 so later I'll shout out for them on that. pls have lj. pls? :D I feel weird about college cos I'm dreading it and excited at the same time. For the past 12 years I always dread fall. like of course because summer freedom slacking is over. But I feel like this year will be different cos I'm starting over from scratch and there's the independence and making a real man out of myself and I had the experience of going to Taiwan aka sleepaway camp. Like uh, I won't be as shocked when people start drinking and blahs. and I'll be more ok meeting new people. I believe in them being good!! And what else? People are all crazy about rooming and whether they get double or single and maybe it's different since we'll be living there for nearly a year and we'll have loads of art supplies but in Taiwan we've roomed with 8 people at once before so it shouldn't be so bad. ohHHHh hahas at one of the places on our 5 day trip down south they were really cramped for space, and we had to 8 people to a room again. The counselors said the max would be 10, but there was a LOT more guys than girls on this trip and so some of the guys had to room TWENTY to a room. And if you'd seen our rooms, I don't see how it's possible. So Taiwan was a good precollege experience. I felt so sad when I came back. I didn't cry but I felt like a hollowed out log stuffed with honey as a treat for beavers. It's dumb because towards the end of the trip I was all ready to just come back home. But when I'm here I miss the crazy life we had over there. In Taiwan I resented that the counselors always had all these events, like slave auction and singing contest and talent show we had to go to, because sometimes I just wanted time to myself. Now I'm sad that I'm not running around as much. I don't feel like I've REALLY gotten to know Taiwan but it was def a good sampling of it. We went to SO MANY PLACES, and they can be grouped like: nature sightseeing, aborignal villages selling traditional foods and crafts, and museums. I freakin LOVED the museums because they weren't crappy dingy damp holes but actually cool. I wanna go to find a natural history/technology museum here now because I spent most of the time in Taiwan's talking in the McDonald's they had in the basement. But the stuff I DID see there was really cool. They had a presevred giant squid encased in plastic/glass/whatev and it was groooosss. Oh and the fine arts and ceremics museums, wow I could've stayed there forever staring at them and trying to imagine how they went about it. There were a lot of beautiful mountain watercolors. Some of the art exhibits were unexpected and entusiastically modern and experimental. I didn't take any pictures though. Don't ask me why. I regret it now. I think we were allowed to if the flash was off. Oh my god. Did you know Taiwan had a mountain range? Freakin huMONGOUS too (or Taiwan is just superbly small. We traversed the length of it in 2 hours by coach bus) and we did so much hiking and sweating and it was so beautiful. Mists clung to the tops and spewed from cracks. I took a LOT of mountain and ocean/scenery photos and I'll upload them sometime. hopefully soon cos my parents want to see them too. I knew that the camp coordinators want us to help revitalise Taiwan's economy by taking us to the aborignal villages. and it worked sometimes because I felt bad looking at the people weaving/making wooden shoes because they were dark sinewy and skinny and wrinkled and bought things. But otherwise, because on a lot of our outings they just set us loose without tour guides, I didn't actually learn anything about aborignals or of Taiwanese history. Which I'm still murky on and curious about now. I THINK Taiwan is considered independent now. They have their own government. But China like a monster is apparently breathing down their necks for reclamation. But, whenever we had going overs of rules, the counselors would say, "You must abide by the law of the RoC," and RoC meant Republic of China. Teresa told me China in turn calls itself the People's Republic of China. But the Taiwanese get offended if you call them Chinese. I didn't understand that part at first until someone made the analogy that you don't call Australians English even though they share the same language (albeit with accent, same with Taiwanese) and a lot of same customs, and Australia once being a penal colony of England's. But why then does the Taiwanese gov call itself RoC? (if they are independent now) Taiwan also has a lot of Japanese influences because of its former occupation. I don't know what it's like in China, like maybe along its eastern coast it has Japanese things too like those claw machines that cost -6 dollars each try but are filled with brain meltingly adorable plushes. Like furniture that are made out of bear faces. The museums' placecards would also have Japanese translations underneath the chinese. I just miss running around and being sweaty all the time. My legs have problems with tanning because I slathered on spf60 sunblock on my arms and nothing on my legs but my arms are still the darker. Taipei is really well developed. I feel like I've said this before. The MRT system is really nice and I've taken it to most of the stops, and a lot of the stops are right at huge shopping centers, but malls and thick street markets. Taiwan is funny because it's all mixed up with the old and new. It's still very much GHETTO BUTT in a lot of places, a lot like Vietnam. We couldn't flush toilet paper down because the pipes couldn't handle it and might plug up, so we had to toss them into bins. On the highway we would pass trucks PACKED in the back with hogs. Stray cats and dogs were everywhere, balls and rows of nipples swinging free. The houses were modest and aged. (or if the owners had money, their taste was gaudy, because they go crazy. They get marble with designs that are scattered and mismatching and pillars and columns. The gravestones are so big and elaborate they looked like bathrubs) But when the gov starts new projects (or renovates), it does them WELL. The MRT for one, and the new shopping centers, and the museums were all very smooth and professional. And so were the commercials, they were awesome. Oh man. When I first started watching tv I would always find a channel that had some kind of Stephen Chow show on so at first I thought he had his own channel. The places we stayed in also had HBO, so we could watch english movies with Chinese subtitles. There was also a lot of anime on like Conan the Detective(?) and Naruto and Prince of Tennis but they were dubbed into Chinese and Naruto's voice was not nice. 7-11 was EVERYWHERE. I really mean it. They would be BLOCKS away from each other. You just could not get away. They also had McD, KFC, and Starbucks. Competing minimart chains against 7-11 would be OK Mart and Family Mart and HiLife and frequently they'd be right next door. Convenient, that. I bought ice cream nearly everyday, which is unusual because I rarely eat ice cream here, but not unusual because I eat junk food like that only when I'm HUNGRY and I was HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. The food our center served us was good...like of course there was some stuff my Americanised mouth wouldn't accept (but I ate fish intestines once without knowing it :( it had a layer of crispy friedness so everyone ate it and thought it was good. it was all right. I knew it was seafood and thought it was a bit tough and it was not unlike squid tentacles but I just thought it was really compacted fish meat of the acceptable sort) but I would walk away satisfied for the most part. It was ok for mass made food. But if we were hungry outside of the serving times of course we had to buy food ourselves. I didn't want to keep spending money buying outside meals so I'd just buy little snacks to tide me over. I ate a lot of tuna sandwiches and cup ramen and candy and ice cream. Around our center in Jian Tan (a district in Taipei) we found a small place that made really yummy dumplings (shao mai?? Forgot how to say), 10 for a little over a dollar. And for breakfast we could go to a shop that served hot soy milk and the long fried bread. SO GOOD. I went to a NICE resturant a couple times and ate what Taiwan is supposed to be famous for, a sort of dumpling with soup inside, and taro dumpings and red bean paste dumplings and OH MY GOD fried rice which I didn't know I missed so bad. Being in Taiwan I learned to really appreciate a good meal because it was rare I got one. I felt like such a pregger lady because I would always be CRAVING ice cream. They had milk ice cream bars which I forgot to try. And I never found any damn QOO! My friend Ariel said she saw them everywhere but where were they when I came around?! HUHN!? I miss the people I met so much! We wanna do a reunion sometime. Teresa lives in MD and goes to Uni of MD so I can actually go see her, haha. But Eterna lives in Cali and Ariel lives in Canada. and hahahha I know their names are strange. I don't know what Eterna's parents were thinking but Ariel was allowed to choose her english name herself and she said she wanted to be like a princess. hahhaha! It's actually fitting because her style is lolita inspired. She didn't bring her hardcore clothes but we went to a lolita store called Angelic Pretty where the dresses were really elaborate and hella expensive. She had lots of money to drop tho, cos she had also bought Gackt and Dir en grey concert dvds which are in the -40 range.

12:58 p.m. Domingo, Julio 2, 2006

We finally got put our clothes in the wash today, I'm so happy cos it was all stinking like cheese. IT WAS RIGHT EW. SO EW. We're done with our 5 day trip and we're back at the activity center that we call our hotel (lols when Celina's dad asked her if she was gonna stay at the YMCA we did NOT have any idea what he was talking about) and the second camp (within our program) has started, and there are a HELLA BUNCH of outside normal people too!!!!! So it is very crowded and loud and there is a little boy runnnig scarily behind me!!!! On one of the days of the 5day trip, the roommates were rearranged but I was still rooming with Celina so I thought I was gonna room with the original 4. I start heading towards Christina, and Christina: Who are you rooming with? C: what? Christina: Who are you rooming with? C: what? Christina: Who are you rooming with? C: Oh ok! Something is wrong with my ears. It's like everyone's mumblnig or something. I've had to ask so many people repeat whatever they said 247893859 times. But then in other ways my ears are sensitive, like I can tell when someone is about to go to the bathroom downstairs. There a couple of mixed kids here, and one of them looks 100% white, and he looks like the statue of liberty. I told him that and we were laughing but now I think he might have been insulted. He also (unknowingly) smashed my finger in the door once. I also met this girl here named Theresa, and she's twnety something??? Well she's going into her senior year of college, and she looked 16!!!! hahaha! After I told her she looked young she went to the mirror and said "ok now I have to look at myself." She said once an old man asked her if she was in elem school. AHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! And her personality is so weird, it's an odd juxtaposition of smartness and being really culturally unaware. She didn't know who Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie were, she didn't know that Tivo was called Tivo, and she said I needed to learn how to speak and pronounce my consonants!!!! AIYAH WO MA YA. She's soo funny. We also went clubbing last nite, and I discovered I am not a clubbing person. The bodyguards/bouncers were SUPER TALL AND SCARY!!! We just stood around looking at them for a while. haha. We dint have reservations so we got loverly NOT seats right by the sound system and the smoke machine. A couple people with me got rum and coke and it was ugh. The music was mostly hiphop and sex and I don't know why I was expecting it to be like prom, you know...FUNNY songs playing. Like the songs at prom WERE about "I lick your navel!" but they were really upbeat and catchy and just pop I suppose. Yes. I love pop. I like dancing to it at least. The Blacked Eyed Peas are really big here too. I think it's because their songs are really catchy and easy to like. The bartenders did some fire tricks that were interesting. How talented they are. Otherwise I felt really out of my element. Like a beached whale being picked apart by VULTURES!!! Which is what some of thje counselors here remind me of, (in a nice way) we have some of the sillest counselors ever. One has a creaky baby voice and usually I hate baby voices but hers is just funny. Her hair is big. So I still need to learn how to dance and my god I feel old and falling apart because my knees really ached afterwards and no one else's did. I'm gonna check the clothes now.

03:23 p.m. Tuesday, June 27, 2006

hello !!! I'm at a traditional center for the arts (something) right now and we've begun our 5 day trip. away from the hotel we're currently staying at. We're sharing the hotel with other camps but I didn't know that at first so I'd see all these random people in pink shirts and I thought they were all couples being cute and matching with each other. I'd also see all these japanese people...well I'm sure they were japanese people, even though Labarbera would probably lecture me about stereotypes, because their clothes were super bright and their hair pretty cool most of the time. One of the guys also wore one of those face masks (the mask that goes over the face of motorists to block their mouf from pollution) that was black and had a skull(?) on it. I thought it was over the top a bit but oh well. yeah the people here in general are super trendy. Brown hair abounds and for the guys mullets are BIG. SO BIG. EVERYONE HAS THEM. It actually looks cool on some people as opposed to the image of hillybillies over here but just, everyone looks the same and, just make up your own style! I also get kind of scared sometimes because maybe I'm just a prude or super sheltered but everyone drinks. Everyone. And after I took the chinese test to see which class I'll get put into, I heard this conversation behind me. G: I've tried everything but ecstasy. (something) is so cool, it distorts your mind and everything, and you can taste the color purple! B: Yeah, brown always hits me pretty hard. ok. Well at least they're friends now. They're always hanging about each other and have something to hold on to in this sea of suffering. the place I'm in, it has this outdoor section where big chinese craft things are set up, and there's also a place with traditional chinese housing, and it's complete with a little pond with purple lillies and koi and it's so relaxing and pretty. I want to live here!!! It's a small apartment complex that just opened up or something. except I don't really want to stay in Taiwan, I want it to be in the states! I LOVE AMAERICA There's this guy that looks and acts like Bob so we (Celina and me) call him Bob now. His real name is Alex. And he's 24 but looks like 3u49348934 hahahahs. He's REALLY nice though. Even though he asked me my name and then forgot it five seconds later and had to ask again. Well we haven't really gone INTO the city too deeply (this is our fourth day I think, and we've just recently started to go out on trips. yesterday we went sightseeing on a mountain) so everything, it reminds me a lot of US. the buildings, etc etc, pretty well developed, not surprising since they want ot attract tourists here for money and probably to push the chinese way or bring light to their independence issue. Altho rapparently they are having riots(?????? I really don't know, it looked a bit mobbish but maybe it was uh tame) within themselves re: political parties. of course it's hot and blablalba...umm...ok when we went on the mountain, I thought it was so strange and funny because...well it's just SUPER high up and I'd imagine civilisation would just stop but after a bit of climbing it resumed again, exactly like the ground level. and it's just...these people are so far away and close at the same time. I don't know how to explain it. Because it could be compared to a group of people living 47834 miles away or something. I don't know. !!!! It thunderstormed the other day, and it was REALLY, REALLY LOUD AS if someone had just set us up the bomb RIGHT BEHIND ME. I asked someone and she said the storms ALWAYS sound like that. it really sounded like it was on top of us. everyone screamed. haha. ok I go.

04:55 p.m. Thursday, June 22, 2006

k I dunno where the comments went. nm! Not really done but I juss wanted a more open space, I'll finish it...later!